Just along for the ride called life.

In the end-

As I sit
I think of you
Feeling guilty
For loving you
Days of loneliness
Days of sorrow
Days of sadness
That led to heartache and pain
In which I think I may never again recover
Feeling ever so pitiful
I can’t help myself though
I just can’t seem to get over you
I utterly hate you
And yet I’m hopelessly infatuated with you
But I feel like darkness trapped in the dead of light
No where to hide
But in itself
A place where there is no admittance
Fear seems to feel like home
Love the enemy
Am I not worth it?
Worth you taking admiration of me
It hurts
The sight of you in the arms of another
Do you do it in spite?
Just make me hurt
Sometimes I think I might end my time here
But then
Back to reality I come
And back to darkness I return
It’s sick
How good I feel when I think of death
Just to rid myself of you
And it’s extremely gruesome
How I plan your demise
If only you knew
My wicked mind is even too much for me at times
But the just of it is…
It is you
The one that broke me
And it will be you
To know how it feels
To be stuck here
Inside my world
With no fucking way out
Wanting to be somewhere else
But not being able to move
Wanting to feel just the smallest amount of happiness
And only feeling unwanted
Wanting to be the only one
And feeling like the only one left out
And in the end
It will be me that saves your soul

Her

Endless times I’ve dreamt of you and I,
Conceived every possible situation together,
The feelings I feel are not felt in return,
Hopefully things will one day get better,

I see your face in everything I do,
I dream things I know will never be true,
Yet still I suffer through this fragile dream,
I adore your body so beautiful and lean,

How can I make my hopes come true,
Hopes of loving and being with you,
The truth remains a mystery to me,
I only see things as I want them to be,

Oh so graceful Oh so young,
When I’m around her I want to melt,
I’m living through death longing for her touch,
Oh when will I break out of this bittersweet spell,

The more I write the more I feel,
The more I realize these feelings are real,
The more I feel hopelessness and despair,
In the confusing dark I whisper a prayer,

If only there existed some sort of way,
For her to love me in the same way,
Away she walks out of my sight,
I’ll cry myself to sleep tonight,

For so many years I’ve longed for love,
But such a thing in this world is rare,
Send me this gift from the heavens above,
I’m cold, I’m lonely, I feel despair.

Autumn Times

“Autumn breeze frigidly touches ailing dreadful lives
Harshly darkness quietly surrounds the broken souls
Mellow serenades that once played between hearts
Pathetically have transformed into bitter sad songs

Somewhere beyond the flossy clouds
Cupid has lost his romancing arrows
Plays sad sonorous tunes on his bow
Dedicated to all weepy lonely hearts

Howling chilly wind blows through the mist
Sounds of sorrow spread allover the place
Fuzzy humid air submerges the inner lust
Lives decay slowly as the autumn leaves fall…”

Your Lies

Funny when things never change
Even when you say they will
But while your off screwing him
My life is standing still

You tell me that you love me
When I go to leave
You tell me I’m your only one
And I let myself believe

I know that you are using me
But you’ll never let me go
I know that you don’t love me
I know I’m just for show

I don’t know If I can stand
To see you love another guy
You know that you broke my heart
You know that your my world

But while your standing by my side
I’ll believe your lies forever
Cause everything seems so perfect
When we are together

Unspoken-

Today as i think of these words
i wish there was so much more i could of said to you.
all those things i never said,
all the things i meant, all the things i wanted to say, never left my mind, and what use was it? no one knows how you feel till you say it.
They were wrong-its never right to leave things unspoken.

The Mask
This mask I wear,
he serves me well,
he hides my pain,
so they can’t tell.

They see him smile,
never my tears,
he shows no sorrow,
he fights all my fears.

They believe he is me,
if only they knew,
that he is my mask,
my saviour too.

My scars he hides,
behind laughter and lies,
he say’s he is fine,
but slowly he dies.